We don’t need no stinking DBAs! (T-SQL Tuesday #12)

During a smoke break, Mike and Pat (two suits for a global consulting firm) were having one of those vainglorious conversations about who spends more on what, who has the larger whatever and who has the latest gadget. Their conversation was interrupted as the CTO and smoking pal, Jeff showed up and joined the two suits to smoke a few more brain cells for the benefit of the firm. Jeff then proceeded to ask “We are really going through rough times and we need to cut payroll. Out of these names, who would you let go?” Needless to say, the most senior DBA was among the ones chopped.

It is undeniable that without the suits and their making mula brains, there will be no business and not much work for DBAs or anybody else for that matter. They seem to be very clear on what they want, “dinero” and lots of it. But sometimes while their brains are fixed on their goals and times are tough, they tend to lose the ability to make good decisions. Recognize where the company real assets are –their people.

Like any other species, DBAs come in different sizes, colors, broken, newbies, with and without baggage, lazy, and if you get lucky you may find a wiz here and there. In other words, like a box of chocolates. One thing is for sure, we are all highly caffeinated –it is our cool aid.

Accidental or by choice, if you are a DBA and don’t like what you do, I say to you, “GET OUT, RUN, RUN FOR THE HILLS before you become road kill or destroy the hard work of many people before you. I’m sure it has taken many people blood, sweat and tears to get the company to where it is today.

I have met DBAs with all different sorts of backgrounds. On the good side, I had the pleasure to work with the type of DBA who is a walking SQL Server encyclopedia with photographic memory. I have also met with the Gandalf DBA whose wisdom pours out every time he participates in discussions. On the bad side, I had the misfortune to work with several closed minded DBAs who were afraid to share their knowledge. Somehow I believe it had to do with job security.

In any case, the skillful DBA will differentiate himself from the rest by making sure the production environment is running without a hitch. If a hitch happens, he will make sure data loss is minimal or null. He will automate daily and mundane DBA activities such as backups in order to make time for skillset building activities like studying and research to further his career. The skillful DBA will do all that and then some by using the best tool for the job.

In the area of database administration, the MS SQL Server DBAs is at a crossroads where he must choose a specialty and stick with it. The product has grown to cover many technologies and each one goes deeper than ever before. For example, we now have access to a wealth of information about what is happening on the server via DMVs and new system functions. In addition to that, we have new features that help us manage large environments:

  • PowerShell
  • Policy Base Management
  • DDL triggers (server/database level)
  • SQLCMD
  • Central Management Server
  • Since SQL 2005, a myriad of operators, system objects and the .NET CLR have been added to the list of tools available to the SQL developer/DBA. A certain skill level is necessary in order to know the when, why and how to apply these new features in order to squeeze up to the last cycle out of each CPU. Some of these skills can only be acquired through experience in the field.

    Database administration and development are two of the oldest areas under the MS SQL Server umbrella. You still have replication, SSIS, SSAS, performance tuning, security, BI, architecture, and many other areas one can choose to specialize on. Choose one, hit it hard and learn as much as you possibly can before moving to the next area. Keep your skills sharp by reading something new to you about the area you are developing. And always, be prepared to move on a moment’s notice; you never know when you’ll encounter Mike, Pat and Jeff.

    Oh, here’s the end of the story from the topPriceless!
    Cutting corners and buying the cheapest hard drive at Fry’s – $59

    Promoting developer to accidental DBA because you fired the previous skillful DBA in order to cut payroll -$85,000

    Opening up your cheap open box Fry’s hard drive and finding it scratched like a Nazareth record after playing Hair of the Dog for 1000 times – PRICELESS

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